Saturday, March 3, 2012

Never let your self-worth diminish

1. It happened some years ago but I can recall the evening like it happened just last week.
I was in an audience listening to a motivational guru.
The speaker whipped out his wallet and pulled out a five hundred-rupee note.
Holding it up, he asked, "Who wants this five hundred rupee note?"
Lots of hands went up. Including mine.
A slow chorus began to build as people began to shout "Me!" "Me!"
I began to wonder who the lucky one would be who the speaker would choose. And I also secretly wondered -- and I am sure others did too -- why he would simply give away five hundred rupees.
Even as the shouts of "I want it" grew louder, I noticed a person running down the aisle.

The person ran up onto the stage, went up to the speaker, and grabbed the five hundred-rupee note from his hand. "Well done," said the speaker into the microphone.
"Most of us just wait for good things to happen. That's of no use. You've got to make things happen."
The speaker's words have stayed with me ever since.

'Simply thinking about doing something is of no use'

Our lives are like that. We all see opportunities around us. We all want the good things.
But the problem is we don't take action.
We all want the five hundred rupee notes on offer. But we don't make the move. We look at it longingly
Get up, and do something about it. Don't worry about what other people might think. Take action.

2. Several years later, it was another day, another time.
And another motivational guru.
As I watched him pull out a five hundred rupee note and hold it up for all to see, I thought I knew what he was going to do next. But he just asked a simple question. "How much is this worth?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" the crowd yelled in unison.
"Right," said the speaker. He then took the note and crumpled it into a ball and asked "How much is it worth now?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" screamed the audience.
He then threw the note on the ground, stamped all over it and picked up the note and asked one more time: "And how much is it worth now?"
"Five Hundred rupees!" was the response.
"I want you to remember this," said the speaker.
"Just because someone crumples it, or stamps on it, the value of the note does not diminish.
We should all be like the five hundred rupee note.
In our lives, there will be times when we feel crushed, stamped over, beaten. But never let your self-worth diminish. Just because someone chooses to crush you -- that doesn't change your worth one bit!

Don't allow your self-worth to diminish because someone says something nasty -- or does something dirty -- to you."

'Never let your self-worth diminish'

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Wednesday, February 22, 2012

15 Tips for a Successful Marriage

Set aside a time in the day, when you can talk with your spouse without being disturbed. Don’t discuss children, finance or other matters pertaining to marriage or its attendant lifestyle. Focus on yourselves. Discuss your day, use each other as sounding boards and exchange interesting places of information. Basically, use the time to keep in touch with each other.

How often do you exchange thoughts about what you like your spouse? It is important to make the other feel loved and wanted.

Shouting matters don’t really help in the long run, nor do prolonged sulks. It is better to sit across the table and thrash out issues that trouble you, logically, rather than letting days pass in doubts of silence or tense comments thrown at each other.

You will encounter a lot of problems as doubts are bound to rise in the course of any Marriage. Learn to give each other the benefit of doubts. Mutual trust and belief in each other will always help you heather the storms.

He wants to start a family, you want to save for a dream house. Decide on a priority from which both will benefit. Take into account the other person’s perspective also

Love the other person in totality, not in bits and parts. We are all unique individuals with both plus and minus points. Ignore minor irritants and they will not change your entire life. Accept them, and ask your spouse to accept you, as you are.

Life is a battleground, but sometimes a small sacrifice for the one you love, goes a long way. Your friends, the workplace, as well as your interests may fade with time, but your spouse is the constant anchor in your life. Remember, any decision you take will affect your whole life together

You hate when he snores, or leaves the bathroom untidy. He dislikes the fact that you take ages to get dressed. These are personal habits that can be changed with time, but don't dislike the person for his shortcomings. Caught in the travails and ablations of forging a successful career for yourself, it is likely that your marriage is being relegated to the backseat. In the long run however, the abiding chemistry you share with your partner will be the true measure of your success. So, here are 15 techniques to help you strengthen the kind of bond with your husband / wife, that will last a life time
Learn to negotiate deals with each other, Give some and get some. He wants to spend this weekend with his family; you wish to visit a romantic place with him. Tell him you will spend the weekend with his family, but reserve the next for the outing. Make the promise and carry it out willingly. This way, it won’t be a manipulation

Most couples forget that they are a family now, and hence, immediate relatives do exist. Instead of thinking in terms of his or her family, and finding faults with them, try and accept them as extensions of your own. This will help you ease out the tensions, if any.

In the first year of Marriage, you will dislike being separated from each other. However, later it is essential to give each other space to allow the relationship to breathe. Constantly spending time together can be boring, and leave you with the urge to drift away. Have your own individual circle of friends and spend time with them. That way, both of you have other outlets of entertainment too and come back to each other, refreshed and recharged.

Do not roams around with a face pack on your face, or in old clothes in front of your spouse. Familiarity breeds contempt, and such familiarity can kill the romance in any Marriage. Dress well for each other and the rewards will be worth the effort.

The humdrum routines of everyday life can create monotony in any relationship. Plant love notes in each other’s drawers, give cards for no reasons at all. Buy a bunch of flowers as a gift, just to say “I love you”

Your private matters should remain between the two of you. Arguing in front of relatives, children or friends creates unnecessary biases, which may aggravate existing problems, or give birth to new ones. It can also send out the wrong impression that you are not a team.

Forgiveness is a liberation, not a curse. Each day offers us new possibilities. Learn to accept it as a fresh new page. The past is over and done with, you can’t change it, but you can forget and forgive for a bright NEW FUTURE.

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Sunday, February 5, 2012

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